We Haven’t Even Met Them, and We’re Already Doing This.
Michael Che inspired me to confront prejudice. I’ve selected little green men. We haven’t met these people, and we’re already making assumptions.
October 18, 2026
Bad Picks. Better Stories.
The Daily Riff.
Humor, Reviews, Sports Picks, and whatever else invades my mind.
I Wonder If She Likes Piña Coladas.
A man at baggage claim brought fresh flowers and full yacht rock regalia. Meanwhile, the driverless cars are offering a notification. I’m rooting for the flowers.
October 17, 2026
My Ice Cream Needs a Password.
I bought a smart refrigerator for the ice balls. I hadn’t planned on defending them.
October 16, 2026
Apparently, I Was Ahead of the Wine Crisis.
California’s wine glut means expensive bottles are showing up at bargain prices. Finally, an opportunity to develop a sophisticated palate without developing a sophisticated budget.
October 15, 2026
I Was Doing Fourteen Point Six.
A North Las Vegas neighborhood has a speed limit of 14.5 mph. My Prius displays whole numbers. At 14.75, does someone emerge from the clubhouse with a calculator and a boot?
October 14, 2026
Which Beans Did You Mean?
Starbucks says it isn’t buying Chipotle. Good. I have questions about the beans, Americano burritos, and finding a Sharpie that can spell my name wrong on crushed tin foil.
October 13, 2026
Apparently, My Soul Patch Didn’t Like the Monologue.
I criticized an SNL performance. The replies reviewed my age, career, sports teams, and soul patch—and suggested a future in feline knitwear. Apparently, my chin needs representation.
October 12, 2026
Saw Digger. I Went Fishing. That’s All I’m Telling You.
Before seeing Digger, I thought the advertising campaign sucked. Afterward, I understood why. A spoiler-free review involving fishing gear, questionable judgment, and a movie I may be untangling forever.
October 11, 2026
Hey Golden Knights, The Mayor Emeritus of 210 Has a Complaint
They called me the mayor of Section 210. Then my ticket price kept rising, and the mayor got priced out of his district. Now the Golden Knights’ sellout streak is over, and I have a complaint: the people who helped bring hockey to Las Vegas should still be able to afford a seat.
October 10, 2026